Monday Workout Tip

Everything was going so well.

I had recovered a really bad day, feeling ridiculously tired at work but trying to concentrate anyway, trying to make sense out of all the usual corporate nonsense, trying to nail down some nebulous middle-management concept and turn it into a “process map”.

A bad day.

But I went to the gym and put in a decent workout – lots of sweat, lots of effort, lots of good tunes!

Awesome.

Everything was going so well.

And then I went to take a shower…. 😣

Cue creepy old man, stark bollock naked, blocking the way, and vigorously drying off his crown jewels.

There’s just no need for that.

I thought when I stepped forward, he would have the courtesy to move his naked form to one side, but apparently I thought wrong. So I moved a bit closer. Still nothing.

Closer.

Grudgingly, he gave me just enough room to get by.

Why does every gym have one, some strange old guy who likes to strip down and parade himself about? Do women’s changing rooms have this problem? Is it a universal old thing or just an old man thing? Do you get to a certain age and decide: “All these years I’ve wasted learning etiquette and social norms, what was I thinking? I’ve wasted my life; I should have been devising situations that allow me to get my ding-dong out and swing it around in front of as many people as possible.”

Is it a game of charades where the answer is “Free Willy”?

Is it some sort of strange territorial thing?

I don’t understand. I really don’t.

So here’s the Half-Arsed Runner’s #1 Monday workout tip: PUT IT AWAY.

 
(Now, how should I illustrate this post? What kind of picture would be relevant here?

Oh.

On second thoughts, I think I’ll just go with a nice picture of a boat on the riverside that I took on a happier day.)

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The week in review

So, it looks as if I’m getting back on my exercise at a leisurely pace, with two shorter runs last week and two gym sessions this week.

I’m not crazy about gyms in general to be honest.

They always seem to be a massive faff! Even the nice ones have over-crowded changing rooms where I am inevitably trying to maneuver my little pile of stuff around someone else’s little pile of stuff.

Apparently gyms are really unhygienic places too; although I diligently wipe down my cardio machines after I SWEAT LIKE A ______ (insert your favourite simile here) all over them, I have no doubt that others do not!

The membership is expensive and feels like a waste of money every time I elect to do an outside run instead. It’s sickening to think of how much cool running gear I could have bought with the total money I have spent on gym membership this year.

Then there’s the posers, the weirdos, the grunters and the machine hoggers!

So it’s a bit of a love-hate relationship.

My gym buddy is one of the main reasons I have not quit. He’s not into running so will always be on my case to get down to the gym, and he’s in the same team as me at work so there’s no getting away from him.

Also, he’s into weights, which in turn persuades me to do a moderate amount of lifting. (I have alluded to some of the increased benefit to be had from adding resistance training to a routine here, and may post more on this topic in the future.)

He’s also into swimming, something I am terrible at, and helps me correct my form. (Swimming provides excellent cross-training for running.)

On top of that, as the winter draws in, it will be increasingly nice to do work-outs under a roof, even though OUTSIDE RUNNING BEATS TREADMILL RUNNING HANDS DOWN EVERY TIME. (I hope you’re reading this Mr Gym Buddy – get yourself some running shoes and we’ll go on a training run in the real world!)

So, what is my conclusion to this incoherent rant disguised as a legitimate post?

Well, I have to admit, I’ve enjoyed my work-outs this week, enjoyed using equipment I don’t have at home (not enough money, not enough space), and enjoyed mixing it up.

But I may well go for a cheeky 10k in the park today.

 

(On the same topic as this post, I came across one of the best gym vs non-gym articles I have seen right here on WordPress yesterday. You can view it here. The site is called Dirty Wet Dog, boats and sailing.)